Unfinished poem

One day you will look back

It will be too late

But such is our fate.

Dreams and sand castles in the air

We did it with such flair

In that light green blue landscape

where the only thing that mattered were words

Where money, ambition, and all the worldly problems

Were out of mind, maybe this was just an escape.

In that light green blue landscape

we built a world of our own

A world without time

A world where  I was yours and you were mine

Time did catch us
Reality shook us
We were thrown by the sudden shock
of ambition, inhibhition

The Fate of Men

So there I was, standing angry

Waiting and waiting, going balmy

Then she came, huffed and puffed

Damn girl! That was scary

Knew I was in trouble
Excuses I made, not one, but double
How the plate changed,

In an instant, my fate reversed

Life in jeopardy,
My anger a parody,
Men thus be our fate,
All this effort just for to a date.

As the year draws to a close

It's been a while since my last blog post.. but I have been a tad bit busy with exams and projects.

But on Christmas day in a foreign country, I feel that I should take a moment and say thanks to all the blessings that I have. In this constantly changing dynamic we call life, we are rushed, often pushed into doing things, things we may or may not want. We crave for those that we can't possess, we wish for those that we had and lost, we pray for something different. These will happen, when it is meant to and when it is the right time.

Understand that there are those across this vast and glorious earth that live to find the next morsel of food. There are those who live in poverty and a desperation that encapsulates and engulfs their entire existence. There are those who live without hope.

But we are the blessed lot. We have family who care for us. Friends who wish us well and whom we can share and enjoy. We also have that someone special, who thinks of you and no one else.

So on this Christmas day, I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, an education that enlightened my mind, family that will always stand by me and friends I can count on.

A Storm is Coming

A crystal blue

Sullied by a darkened hue

Impending storm

It’s nature’s norm

Precipitates fear

And unknown despair

Protection mechanisms of yore

Informs to secure, find shelter and store

Then a rumble, a tumble

A horrendous grumble

Flash of light

Quick and glaringly bright

Afraid and fearful

Shelter we seek

Scramble, scour for shelter; almost hopeful

Humbled by thee, understand we humans are meek.

What do I believe in?

The importance of one's beliefs is not apparent when  one is a young boy. During childhood, we are in a search for the beliefs that we know inherently represent us. It is quite beautiful the process by which we arrive at the conclusions of our existence. I am particularly intrigued by the time when one would make that choice, the choice to be a particular sort of person. It is almost like an anti climax, the beginning of the end.

My quests  of inner self discovery have always been a sort of understanding to find out if I am an atheist or theist. It is quite difficult let me tell you. There is a plethora of data supporting each. To assume one stance is to put yourself at a risk of antagonizing  the other.

But then you do need to sort it out. It gives you a sense of relief at the end. Deep down you always knew the answer. That is the realization at the end of this exercise of introspection. So if you were like me a believer in the one true god, you would be surprised at why did you ever doubt His existence in the first place. The evidence is all around us, but why this doubt. Does it mean that we were meant to doubt ? Maybe finding the answer through the haze of doubt helps it make it a little clearer.

Richard Dawkins, the famous scientist and self proclaimed atheist talks about how his beliefs firmly founded on Darwin's famous theory, makes it almost impossible to assume that there is a god. He outlines his believes quite succinctly. He also takes a playful jab at the creator stating that he would ask god why he took such pains to hide himself. Quirky and funny. But interesting though. Very. If He does exist, then why all this secrecy? Again I am thrown into a the dark hole of confusion.

Why be stuck

It's like my life is jammed on the pause button and you have thrown away the remote. Where is it? But deep inside, I know the answer. Why is it that we get stuck in this quandary?  This ungodly depressing mess of past memories. Memories that are like wisps of smoke, very clear but difficult to touch. You can fathom the shape, even sometimes smell it, yet to experience you need to float away to the past. A place long ago, but etched deep within your consciousness. It is a place which looks mesmerizing now, but at that time was it so? The present would one day be the past of tomorrow. So do we remove the unpleasantness , the tensions, the despair of the past and transport them to the present. Is it a defense mechanism to escape from the realities of the present? To prevent from being hurt? to be untouched? 

Escapism, how did I master you. Unknowingly, wantonly became an expert at it. How to escape from escapism. This is the beginning of a neuro psychotic bullshit, yes. It is.

When I see you, I see my future

When I see you, I forget the past

When I see you, I see my present