Lost in darkness

I am tired of this search for happiness. This never ending quest to better yourself. It ceases to inspire me. Nowhere, is the end near, only journey to go on and on. Why can't I just get what I wan't when I want it. Why can't life be perfect. Even wanting something so badly doesn't make it come true. Paulo Coelho got it wrong in my case. The whole universe is not conspiring to get me what I want. In fact I think it is actually letting me wallow in my misery. This utter boredom and solitude. This never ending gloominess like power  going off , and you are not able to find the switch to turn back the lights on. When you do reach the switch, you realise that the bulb is not working. Where do you get the bulb? Which store can I find it, I do not know. People say with time, things get better. In reality, they don't only the fact that you get more used to your own misery. There in lies the truth, the sage and my reality.

Blood is thicker than water

I must say I always knew that blood is thicker than water. I mean I love and care for my family over any other  living being. But the first time I held my nephew Siddharth, the feeling was so overpowering. It was difficult for me to fathom the fact that in my hand I hold a new human being whose life force in his body is similar to mine. In his body, blood runs that is (almost) similar to mine. I am telling you it was the most extraordinary feeling ever. After which it was like every thing , every other problem in the world seemed so small and trivial. In that perfect moment, when I held the next generation of my family I finally understood what it is to have your next line. Why this urge in man to prolong his line and how family matters. It is built into our DNA, it can't be explained. It's like closing your eyes when you sneeze, you don't know why you do it but you do it nevertheless. In that perfect moment, someone whom I just met become one of the most important people in my life.

With Siddhu, mom and sis