Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

I am a huge fan of alternative rock but that doesn't mean I don't listen to other forms of rock or genres. You should never restrict yourself in music  or most things in life. Restriction gives you very little options and you reach the same conclusion. But having an open mind helps you see the very same thing in so many different lights.

This is one of my favourite songs from the band 3 Doors Down, who have some other amazing tracks as well. But this is one song that I can't get tired of listening to. The best part of about the song is that lyrics are amazing and also its a pleasure to listen to. Also to be played apparently. There are so many covers of the song on youtube!. Since I am terrible at the guitar and horrible at singing , I am giving my own little tribute here on my blog. Hope you enjoy it.


A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face


I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time


I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me


The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go


I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time


I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me


Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love


I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time


I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight babe it's only you and me

Jugaad- How can we ever do without

It's been a while since I blogged, partly lethargy and partly due to the fact that my Dell keypad has only a few functioning alphabets. I have quickly changed my laptop password from the overly complicated one to a more simplistic one. Hoping that one button also doesn't fail! Anyways to avoid further disruptions of my widely read and acclaimed blog ( if you don't appreciate, yourself no one will! ) , I took the cheap route out. Bought myself a keyboard at a throwaway price of 150Rs and it's doing a pretty damned good job too. Somebody please inform Mr. Dell that we need jugaad here in India and not expensive sell your stereo type prices. So what if I have to carry around an extra keyboard where ever I go..  I think it makes me look so cool. you know like the hacker types ( See Die Hard 4: All hackers have it! ) . Got myself a laptop but I gotta use my own customised keyboard yaay!

This is India where it matters not how you reach from A to B but whether you are at B when it matters. Or you just missed the Gravy train from B. Coming to the point of jugaad, one another entire sector that needs to know is the fact that needs to seriously focus on this is Aviation industry. I had an interesting chat with a film production head on one of my famous trips where I wished I had my laptop. He raised some very serious issues regarding arifare and the necessities of a sandwich on a 1 hour trip. Can you not survive that 1 hour without a sandwich! Does your tummy do somersaults in an airplane? So the airplane guys charge you 3000Rs extra for a sandwich and a coke. So what ! It's the way to live. Bindaas jeena , bindaas marna! Well, somehow overpriced sandwiches and bottled water for a 1 hr plane journey is really not my thing. Go to a pub for that I say! :D

College Days
During college days, it was all about jugaad. I would like to list out my favorite ones (not necessarily in that order)

1. I remember that we once heated pizza using an iron box. (The owner of the iron box wasn't too impressed but we did save all that money). Some guys even used to use the same iron box to warm up wet undies. Having a selective memory helps:)

2. Another favorite was cooking maggi in the kettle and it was deliciously tasty too, especially when cooked in the wee early morning hours (post 1 am)

3. A friend of mine during his day zero interview used a black marker to darken his shoe. Lack of shoe polish, a common tragedy during interview days. Lack of ties was also another common difficulty, but one that could be easily averted, after all only so many interviewers. One tie to unite us all!

4. You know those parties where you invite a few people and more show up. Booze is the best invite. Well now you can't dissapoint anyone in a booze party, well atleast until it has not started yet. You don't have . Aloha! You cut a 500 ml cold drink plastic bottle in half and voila!, you have 2 glasses. Be careful to make clear, clean cuts though or you will be having a bloody mary throughout!.

Well these are some of the ones that I do remember, will update the list after a few more chats with the mates drinking overpriced alcohol in pretentious pubs. Until then cheers! and lage raho :)

Writing a novel

It is the dream of many and I have dreamed of it too. I would one day like to sit down, with my laptop and give my imagination a free run  and write that perfect novel. My one genuine contribution to this world. It would be born from the depths of my thoughts and hopefully have no resemblance to any other. It would be original, but charming. Unique but interesting. It would be a read to remember and not forget. 


Yes, I dream of it, a lot actually. But I don't know I am still to find that uncontrable urge of a feeling. That feeling you get when you have an idea or thought so provoking that you have to let go. I am yet to find that. I am sure it exists and there have been moments in my life when it happened to me. But these were unfortunate circumstances when I didn't have neither pen nor a laptop. 


I am emboldened by the irresistible Salman rushdie on Twitter 

 SalmanRushdie Salman Rushdie 

@ 

@SumannaKaul I always said I wanted to write, even as a child. Being able to write... That's another thing entirely. Had to learn that.

Brillaint. I think that it's so true. I am learning now. I am trying. But taking that bold step and putting your thought to be judged out in the public is something I am not yet ready for. Hopefully soon. 

Lost in darkness

I am tired of this search for happiness. This never ending quest to better yourself. It ceases to inspire me. Nowhere, is the end near, only journey to go on and on. Why can't I just get what I wan't when I want it. Why can't life be perfect. Even wanting something so badly doesn't make it come true. Paulo Coelho got it wrong in my case. The whole universe is not conspiring to get me what I want. In fact I think it is actually letting me wallow in my misery. This utter boredom and solitude. This never ending gloominess like power  going off , and you are not able to find the switch to turn back the lights on. When you do reach the switch, you realise that the bulb is not working. Where do you get the bulb? Which store can I find it, I do not know. People say with time, things get better. In reality, they don't only the fact that you get more used to your own misery. There in lies the truth, the sage and my reality.

Blood is thicker than water

I must say I always knew that blood is thicker than water. I mean I love and care for my family over any other  living being. But the first time I held my nephew Siddharth, the feeling was so overpowering. It was difficult for me to fathom the fact that in my hand I hold a new human being whose life force in his body is similar to mine. In his body, blood runs that is (almost) similar to mine. I am telling you it was the most extraordinary feeling ever. After which it was like every thing , every other problem in the world seemed so small and trivial. In that perfect moment, when I held the next generation of my family I finally understood what it is to have your next line. Why this urge in man to prolong his line and how family matters. It is built into our DNA, it can't be explained. It's like closing your eyes when you sneeze, you don't know why you do it but you do it nevertheless. In that perfect moment, someone whom I just met become one of the most important people in my life.

With Siddhu, mom and sis

Is Utopia perfect?

This world of ours is not perfect. That must be the understatement of the century. It is flawed, flawed beyond compare. There are innumerable problems with it. The ubiquitous poverty. It saddens ones heart and guilts ones spending. It refuses to be eradicated. We have been able to eradicate small pox, black plague and many more complicated diseases, but when it comes to raising the standard of living of people in our world, we are yet to find a solution. Innumerable economists the world over write thousands of books on the subject yet we can’t find a lasting working solution. If we took the wealth of the 10 richest people in the world, you can eradicate poverty and hunger 10 times over. Bill gates has enough money to buy a country, yet even US considered to be the most developed country in the whole world suffers from poverty.

A whole host of other problems- terrorsim, unemployment, health care, mortality rates etc etc.. I mean there are so many problems in the world. It is still unbelievable that we can send people to the moon but can't find a solution to get a poor man decent health care. It boggles the mind and rattles the heart. In the world of indexes, there is one index I particularly like called the happiness index. It measures the happiness of people living in a country.

They say money can’t buy you happiness, but then it absolves you from unhappiness from a whole host of other problems. So imagine for a second that you are the richest man in the world; equivalent to say 10 bill gates. You are so rich that Lord Kubera will be put to shame. With this money, what can you do you wonder. You go about eradicating problems in the world until one day the world becomes the fabled Utopia. You have done it. There is no more poverty, no more hunger. No citizen has want for anything. He has everything that he needs. All thanks to you, you are the sole man responsible. You will be remembered for generations.

Now you are living in Utopia. The perfect world. A world with of equitable development, where there is no caste no creed. Concepts like rich and poor do not exist. There is no high class or low class society. There is no corruption. The government is for the people, by the people and of the people. The roads are paved, housing for everyone. Everyone has jobs and every job is respected. All jobs are paid so as to ensure a high standard of living.  

What I wonder is would one be happy in such a place. Would you be happy in such a place? In utopia there is no place for artists, musicians, painters, poets etc. You would ask why? To create art, there has to be burning passion. Passion is normally stimulated by angst, hurt, betrayal, loss, bereavement. But such feelings don’t exist. Classic example is the quality of rock songs of the 70’s and early 80’s to present day songs. There was a burning desire to break free from the shackles of the’man’ Hence, you had an array of the best rock n roll the world has ever listened. But then you would say happiness should exist, right? By happiness all its derivatives like love, belonging, satisfaction, achievement. But contrary to what we believe aren’t these feelings relative. If everyone is happy, isn’t no one happy. How do you distinguish one feeling from the other? All feelings will be mellowed, subdued. Passion will be extinguished. It ceases to exist.

This was basically an answer given to me by my primary school teacher (I don’t remember the name of the teacher) when I all in innocence had asked what would it be to live in a world absolved of all problems. She said that the concept of Utopia only exists in the mind of us humans. That is why she says that the poorest man can find happiness and the richest man may not. It also doesn’t necessarily equate to wealth. I mean you can be physically deformed, or suffering from an incurable disease. But, if in your mind you can find the joy out of your surroundings and people, then there is your utopia.

How apt and how true that explanation remains. So think positive and your world at least in your eyes is a utopia.

Your views on this matter are highly appreciated. It may not be perfect, but it's what we got.

Poem/prose on a train journey

When it comes to writing poetry, I have always refrained from it. Not particularly out of shyness, but the very fact that I am terrible at it. But as always I try my hand. This happened whilst I was on a train journey ( not again, you say.. hehe.. yeah!) and I was contemplating on things I am not good at. This was a long line of thought mind you. So many things I am not good at. But there was one I was particularly not good at and that was poetry. I never liked reading it and was horrible at penning it. I still don't know what is a poem or prose and hence, the title of the blog! So in the confines of the 3rd AC compartment, I made the valiant effort of giving it a shot. (Don't hold back on your comments/critiques/ or plain abuses because of the disclaimer. )

Dhak..dhak..dhak…

The train hobbles along,

Through the tiny openings of glass and curtain, I watch

Showing kaleidoscopic events of a million dreams.

A glimpse into their lives, we peep

Moments so fleeting, it ceases to be memorized

But we watch nevertheless

Dhak..dhak..dhak…

Amidst the slow, rumbling of wheel on track

Our eyes devour the moments

But moments so short-lived,

It desists being a memory

Where do these moments go I wonder?

To which lonely abyss are they banished?

Lived for once, forgotten forever

A moment’s glimpse, in a moment lost.

Dhak..dhak..dhak…

Observations on a train journey

This aimless scribble was scribbled on a train journey from Trichur to Nellore. 

Adjoining my compartment are two siblings. Two siblings of the best kind - brother & sister (I am partial as I too have an elder sister). Sister is the elder of the two and she knows it. Both of them are oblivious to the fact that they are not alone in the train. It doesn’t for a second enter their thoughts or actions. The sweet ignorance of innocence. They have made their compartment their own very domain. A domain filled with fun, happiness and a lot of imagination. I envy them.

My estimate of age of people is not accurate but nonetheless, I make a bold guesstimate that the sister must be around seven while the brother a five. Being the elder one, she decides which games to play, almost authoritatively.  The young boy has only love and admiration for his elder sister and follows her whims and fancies without a thought. There is no dissent in this kingdom. The queen has the undying loyalty of her young knight. It’s impressive how she can get the little boy to do anything for her. At the same time she is protective of his feelings and well being. He slips from the seat and almost falls down. She quickly grabs his hand pulls him back onto the seat.

He is trying his best to impress her. He even makes the bold attempt to sing a song and performs in a cute way to keep his sister entertained. Their games grow louder and more animated. The mother is not impressed and asks the command center to quell the noise levels of the troops or in this case the lone soldier. The sister admonishes the little one. He is visibly getting depressed. But lo! She throws him a bone. She asks him to sing along with her but in slightly lower decibel levels. He is ecstatic. His joy knows no bounds. He gets so excited, unable to control himself he starts to jump up and down. The sister gives him a glare but then quickly starts to sing. It’s a childhood song. The brother joins in but in more subdued tones. They sing the song beautifully. Only like a brother and sister can. 
I get lost in the melody, the memories and of a childhood gone by with a wonderful elder sister.

I like 'LIke'

My favorite button on Facebook is the "Like' button. It' such an amazing tool, that does so much for so little. With more friends/acquaintances on Facebook and more adding by the day, it becomes next to impossible to keep track of posts by friends. So in order to show quick appreciation for something you liked but probably are never going to in-depth or comment on, the 'Like' button is the perfect choice. It says so much. Also, there is an anonymity associated with the 'like' button, in that, you don't expect people to reply back to your like. So you needn't fear of repercussions on the web. You liked it , that's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

What is really surprising is that Facebook has still not come out with the 'Dislike' button, but in a way that is a good thing. They are trying to keep the positive attitude on FB. This was a key feature that was missed out by Orkut, Myspace et al. It led to their downfall (although orkut still exists in some countries). But this time around, Google is leaving no room for mistakes. On Google plus, you have the +1 button. It has not become a rage like the 'like' button, but I am sure it will get there.

The "Like ' button probably has saved millions of man hours. With the average user having spend a minimum of four hours on FB (you may call it a waste, I call it connecting with people), the "Like' button is in essence improving the efficiency of mankind. So, there is so much that the world owes to the 'Like' button.

So if you liked reading this post, please 'Like' it. Thankfully there is no dislike button!

Why do people blog?

The first time I heard of the word 'blog' was 3 years back. One of my friends asked me if I blogged. I was stupefied because at that time we were taking a bit of the good drink. I thought he was going to throw up. You know, blog... and there goes the carpet. The next day, sobered up, I googled up the word blog and immediately clicked on the link to wikipedia (Blog). Wikipedia as you all know is the source of all information for mankind.

Well I understood finally. It is basically like an online diary where people write about their personal lives or it can be about something specific like cars etc. Mind you there are some crazy ones out there too (crazy blogs). But it still hadn't answered the big question as to why do it? why blog?

I am no expert on this subject matter that delves into reasons why human beings do a particular activity. I mean this could be the thesis of a psychology major. But the reason why people blog to me is as follows:

1. You are bored -Life is mundane and you seek solace from the words spewing out of your keyboard
2. You want to get your point across- There is this burning passion or desire to let the world know of something and it will kill you unless you let the world know (by the way don't feel bad if you fall in this category- this is the same reason why writers write, musicians play music, artists make art)
3. You want to be remembered - You don't want to just another joe who lived and got forgotten, you want to give meaning to your life in every way possible.. Through your blog, you are going to show the world what a wonderful person you are.
4.You found something unique - You have discovered a new and unique way to perform an activity and it is your duty to share this with the world.
5. You love seeing your word in print - Well, technically its not print, but seeing something you scripted on a website is the best feeling in the world.
and the list goes on and on... but the basic need is the need to share. To share that information with the world.

It is a wonderful thing this sharing because normally if a person were to ask for information, it would not be so readily given but with blogs you have a plethora information with personal experiences that is at your finger tips.

So blogging for me is a new experience and I do it because of not one, but a multitude of reasons but the feeling thereafter of sharing is a nice one. You feel good. So all my blogger friends, blog away.

Dear.__________.___________

If any of you have seen the wonderful wonderful ad of dear.sophie.lee.

you must know then that if you hadn't teared up you must be made of stone or have a doctor check you out.

Honestly, I was holding back the flood gates post that ad. The tear ducts were almost about to give way to a waterfall, but I mustered up the last bit of manhood in me and had the glazed almost cried effect. They really need to put up a disclaimer sign saying Beware: watch only when alone! 

Anyways, luckily nobody noticed but even if they did, another tearjerker the good old raymond ad of the yore days, which says only real men cry! well  that ad helped us men out a bit. Needn't burst a blood vessel holding back the tears anymore.

But coming back to the point of the matter. The dear.sophie.lee ad really states the fact that we are moving into a world which is slowly but surely merging with the digital world. Although, we don't see the binary codes yet, they are slowly but surely becoming a part of our daily lives. 

Just the other day, my cousin sister had come to the house with her new born son. He is an angel and like all babies, I was trying to grab his attention (and not make him cry- he is a a bawler, but an angel nevertheless) by asking him if he wants an iphone, laptop,etc. Everyone in the family was having a nice time listening to me making a sales pitch for digital products to a 2 month old. But funny thing, in a mallu family, no one blinked ! These are not your everyday products like soaps, toothpaste, toys etc, but very sophisticated and quite expensive products. But even my technology repelling family members too are beginning to see that this is the way things are going to move forward. 

The google chrome ad has captured in essence this moment so well. It has advertised itself not just as a product of choice for tear jerking dads but also given us a lifestyle on google. A way of life with the myriad of unique products that google doles out. Not only that, it has in essence given us a manual for life with a copyright to use only google products for our life time and for generations to come.A brilliant ad. 

My point being it won't be long now, when laptops becomes cheap or even cheaper than milk! (milk now cost Rs 19 for a litre). When the day and age comes, you know whom to turn to when you type those golden words. The last time I went to my native place, I managed to rummage through some of the cupboards and came up with photos from my childhood. There were so few as compared to the present generation . The present generation will have their whole lives documented , well till the teenage years anyway. Some teens don't like being photographed by mum and dad. But the point being, life is on the fast track for these kids. They are on a whole different platform from us, they will be having a facebook account by the time they turn 1. Many of them would be blogging by the time they are 10. Some would be having their own website. Some would be ordering items from website. They are leap years ahead of so many generations before us. There are so many negative points to this acceptance of technology into our lives and our children's lives. But like the google chrome ad tells us, and this is an important lesson. The web is what you make of it. So if we start behaving responsibly on the web, it would be a wonderful world we will be leaving for the next generation. Like we should take care of the physical world be it by reducing pollution, waste, making it greener etc, so should we become more responsible for the digital world because rest assured they will be spending way more time than us on the digital world.

So let's make the best use of it. 

Love,

A tearjerker

My Friend

We were once so close, so inseparable you and I. For me there were no days that could be imagined without you. People came to expect one of us to be with the other always. 

The small talk with friends began always with asking where your friend is. How is your friend doing? I say friend is fine. If you were not around you were the center of most of my conversations. If you were around, it would center on your activities. You were always with me through thick and thin. When I was down, you would cheer me with your wackiest ideas. When I was happy, you would still tell me your wacky ideas, I would laugh. You wouldn't stop. It felt right having you around. 

Through the years, friend you have changed your face, your personality, your shape, your sex too, but in the end you remain my friend. The one person I count on. I sing the song but I don't walk a lonely road because friend you make sure it's not my shadow I watch.

As you change with time, as you metamorphose, I cling on to you, hoping praying, sometimes even begging please friend don't leave me. You make my day, you make it worth living. You make sure that I have a smile on.  You are the reason why god made alcohol, clubs, movie theatres, pinion on a bike, team sports etc.. 

I know it sounds cheesy but friend you have given me so much, and I have so little. So  from the bottom of my heart friend, I hope and pray I continue to meet you  because I get by with a little help from my friend(s).

Perfect Sunday

The notion of an ideal Sunday is very precise one for me.It is a day of enjoyment and relaxation. It is not a freak out day, that is Saturday or Friday. Sundays are meant to enjoy the finer things in life. Those precious moments of sheer dis connectivity with the world. So here  I will narrate a perfect Sunday according to me. Disclaimer: The notion of a perfect Sunday tends to change, depending on circumstances and change in lifestyle,location,job etc. But this is for now.

It starts with waking up past 10 in the morning (it used to be 9am during college days). Sipping on some good coffee and browsing through the Sunday newspapers. This is followed by the oiling of hair (yes us malyalees love to oil hair and then shampoo) and a long pleasurable shower. After which, go for brunch with some close friends where we sit and chit chat about the great and embarrassing moments of the previous night. After brunch, head back home and have a sweet short nap. Then a game of cricket or badminton would really energize the body. On completion of which, come and take a sweet cold water shower. A light dinner followed by a great movie would culminate one perfect Sunday.

Shocked Awakening

I never realised my whole life what it meant to be without a life jacket. The escape button was always there. Any bad situation, any unpleasant event, I knew all I had to do was reach out and pull the stop chain. But then, I grew up and got a job.

Getting a job is all that most Indian kids are trained do. The moment you are born it’s all about getting into the ‘right’ school, the ‘right’ courses, the ‘right’ friends, the ‘right’ environment and the list goes on. Can you believe it? The right environment, I kid you not. I remember when in 8^th grade I started to hang out more with the hip kids, you know the ones who don’t seem to care about exams. My mom went berserk; she started to believe that was the reason for my slip in grades.  Why is getting good grades so damn important in the cycle of life? It’s so that ultimately you get into the best colleges and best jobs. To achieve this task of consistently scoring, you need to put in that extra effort every single day. Every day is a rat race; a race to finish on top. The ultimate goal is to be number one. While in this mad rush to achieve the impossible (for most kids), small things are forgotten like hobbies, watching the sun set, hanging out with friends, lazing around doing nothing. I take it back, it’s not forgotten, only that kids just don’t have the time anymore. When you ask your folks when will you get the time to do all these things? The answer is an obvious one. When you get a good job!

After this phase of life, the kid becomes a man. Now the new pressure starts. What about marriage? Small but suggestive comments start from relatives and friends alike. What’s the next plan? Plan?!! What plan I ask. Silly me. They say in unison,” You know the ‘plan’”.

This is when I realise that I was the one with no clue about plan. They are all in on it. Even some of my friends know what the plan is. When did I miss the notice?

The plan is the early struggle for you is to get good grades. The moment you do that college starts and there is no catching breath here. The life express doesn’t stop there. The next stop and this is a quick stop is job. Once you arrive at Job central, the next station is marriage. You worked your whole life so that you can get the job and do all those things you couldn’t as a kid because of lack of 3 things (money, time, power).

Slowly, bit by bit, I am starting to realise that there was never an escape button, only the illusion of it. Now, with a numbness that is so excruciating, I am shocked into awakening.